When the first lockdown began in 2020 I worried about my practice. I had been practicing daily for a couple of years and felt I could cope with a few months of practicing by myself although I missed the guidance given in session. I didn’t have a large enough house or garden to practice the form at home and I didn’t enjoy the foundation exercises, so I was relieved when the government allowed outdoor exercising. As the summer came I looked forward to our being able to resume full sessions, but in the face of the growing number of infections, the government imposed restrictions once more.

For a while I was happily practicing but began to miss the physical guidance. I had started to listen to the international chanting and meetings over Zoom in addition to the session Zoom calls and committee meetings and started to pick up advice given there and take inspiration from my colleagues. As I added these ideas to my daily practice I started to pay more attention to my body and what it might be telling me. I found it to be an excellent teacher and that there is much to be learned from self practice.

The past year has been challenging in other ways. I was invited to take on the role of branch treasurer and had to learn about working as part of a team again, which I hadn’t done so much since retirement. With the guidance of the organization, I learned to handle complaints about the suspension of sessions without feeling defensive and the advice that being kind doesn’t necessarily mean being nice and vice versa was very helpful.

I find the Zoom calls are giving me a lot of social contact which is compensating for the absence of sessions. Indeed, I think I have more contact now than I did pre-COVID.

Last year a friend accused me of being the most grounded person he knew. I was quite surprised by this as I didn’t feel that myself but I think my experiences over the last year have helped me to become more grounded.

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Confession, from a sudden somehow shocking discovery.

Since another participant shared her “Emptying the Cup” reflection, I started feeling uncomfortable.

In fact, she has uncovered my cup, which I found so full … even overflowing!

I looked inside it.

It is largely filled with knowledge, in a very intellectual sense and not always then brought to live confrontation with reality.

And it is filled with fascinating notions, that I have tried to memorize, write down, remember by heart.

The brain taking over the heart and the practice being neglected.

Fortunately, the cup is also – even though only partially – filled with an understanding that feels good, is deeply felt and reached my heart from someone else’s heart, without the mediation of reasoning.

Something sharable, that tastes like trust.

I am happy I had the opportunity to recognize this (step “without which not”) and I make the resolution to resume constant, consistent practice and to preserve and nourish the “heart” part and make the rest less intrusive and hopefully, slowing down, chanting, practicing, listening with less demands and expectations, without afterthoughts or plans about me/myself .

Lightened by letting go of any useless opinion (whether they are mine or others’).

Making space for his teachings just to sink into me, permeate my heart, impact my experience and be ready to simply emerge.

Now or then.

With others.

Thank you all for being here listening and helping!

Over the past fifteen months, with the help and constant urging of the Board of Directors of Fung Loy Kok Institute of Taoism, (and also my regional and branch leaders), I have developed a daily self-practice. After more than thirty years of practicing the Taoist Tai Chi® arts. Imagine it taking this long!

The manner with which I now approach the movements has changed. In early 2021 my focus was on taking in the instruction I received, and adapting to changes. These days, I take more responsibility for my own practice. I try to concentrate on where my weight is and how to use it, what makes my weight shift, where the initial energy comes from, what causes the turning, the expansion and contraction, and how that makes my feet, back, chest, abdomen, neck and throat feel. Occasionally, moments of near weightlessness occur, also movement with no apparent effort. That sounds like a lot of thinking and concentration, but when it’s all working, and I’m staying in the moment, the movements feel natural and simple.

This past year, after having developed a daily practice, I notice that what used to be a fairly constant issue with lower back pain has changed dramatically for the better. I have gone for months without “putting my back out”.

Mentally, I’ve noticed some improvement. I’ve always been a worrier, and probably always will be. However, I make a point of finding moments of quietude every day, especially Saturdays after chanting sessions. Also, I am trying to improve my listening skills, so at least there is always some intention to hear and understand what is being said where before there was often none. If I notice that I have stopped listening to someone and instead am preparing what I am going to say next, (which means I’m guessing at what the other person is saying or will say), I try to shut that preparation down and get back in the present.

I am very grateful to be involved in Taoist Tai Chi® practice. It has enriched my life.

Voici une anecdote datant d’avant l’an 2000, qui me fait plaisir de partager afin que d’autres puissent le vivre aussi intensément que moi.

Après quelques années d’entraînement aux arts Tai Chi Taoïste®, j’ai pu observer des changements majeurs dans mon quotidien tels que “amélioration de ma concentration, meilleure circulation et respiration plus profonde.

À l’époque, je travaillais dans un centre hospitalier et j’ai pu constater ces changements lors d’une session de formation de trois jours où mes compagnes sortaient du cours en baillant et fatiguées, alors que je me sentais énergisée et remplie de satisfaction que j’attribuerais à une bonne posture, droite et bien ancrée sur mes ischions, en plus d’un focus droit-devant ou attention soutenue, qui me permettait d’absorber la matière tout en laissant aller ma respiration, ce qui me tenait en éveil.

En terminant cette formation, j’ai remercié l’Univers de m’avoir mis, le Fung Loy Kok, cette magnifique école de vie sur mon chemin où j’ai appris à rajeunir, à jouer dans la vie tout en priant, travaillant ou m’entraînant.

Rien n’empêche qu’il y a des périodes difficiles à traverser mais je sais que je ne suis jamais seule. Je me sens constamment supportée et j’ai un coffre d’outils toujours prêt à me dépanner.

Merci à Maître Moy ainsi qu’à tous ceux et celles qui partagent si généreusement leur propre cheminement et sagesse.

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Here is a story from before the year 2000, which I am pleased to share so that others can experience it as intensely as I did.

After a few years of training in Taoist Tai Chi^® arts, I could feel changes in my daily life such as improved concentration, better circulation, and deeper breathing.

At the time, I was working in a hospital and I could feel these changes during a three-day training session where my colleagues would come out of the class yawning and tired, while I felt energized and filled with a sense of satisfaction that I would attribute to a good posture, upright and fully resting on my sitting bones, as well as a clear focus straight ahead that I could maintain which allowed me to absorb the material while letting go of my breathing, which kept me awake.

As I finished this training, I was thankful for coming across Fung Loy Kok, this wonderful life training teachings where I learned to rejuvenate, enjoy life while praying, working or training.

There will always be difficult times, but I know I am never alone. I feel constantly supported and I have a toolbox that is always ready to help me out.

Thank you Master Moy and all those who so generously share their own journey and wisdom.

Reflections on what made me start Taoist Tai Chi® practice.

Following a serious operation for bowel cancer on 5th February 2005, I took several months to sufficiently recover my mobility and return to what was to be my new ‘normal’ life.

Having tried another form of Tai Chi for 3 months prior to my illness, I was looking locally for some exercise combined with meditation which I believed would give me more understanding of myself. It was seeing a poster in a window advertising “Moving Meditation” with FLK which made me feel this was something I could try.

In September/October 2005, I attended my first session. The very first time I did the movements, I was hooked and knew this was something I wished to continue practising. It felt, and still does, like I was exchanging energy with the universe.

I made a promise to myself that I would not become completely involved with the organisation for a year thus giving myself time to make up my mind as to whether this was really what I was looking for – not my normal strategy, usually I dive straight in. I think I lasted a year regularly attending sessions and probably the odd retreat before I took on my first volunteer role as cashier.

I was accredited as a beginner instructor in July 2007 and have enjoyed every last minute I have spent being a member of the organisation.

How have Master Moy’s teachings helped me? When I joined FLK I was experiencing a lot of fear having been told I had a 50/50 chance of the cancer returning. However, I had a strong belief that I would get through this time and would not allow this cancer to beat me.

For several months the turning jong in particular was scary, having had a frightening experience in hospital and knowing I was still healing both inside as well as on the outside of my body. As I became stronger, I lost the fear and allowed the feeling of freedom of the moves take over. My energy levels continued to rise, I found a community of like-minded people who have, over the years, become friends with whom I could practice and who now feel like my extended family and I feel that this is where I belong.

The present crisis putting us all into isolation has brought back memories of this time, being ‘over a certain age’ and therefore more vulnerable to the virus has made me ensure that I look after myself and allow others to look after me. The hesitancy I originally felt of cautiously going out into the world again is the same fear I felt leaving hospital all those years ago.

This period of having time to myself feels very precious, slowing down my life, time to practice, meditate and chant when I like, no timetable to keep to apart from various Zoom calls. Never in my life have I felt as content as at this moment in time. I miss spending time with others but enjoy the time to find out about and to be myself.

Thank you Master Moy for this precious gift which you have given to all of us – the opportunity to experience and benefit from the Taoist Tai Chi® arts.

The first time I became aware of the All Souls Festival was when I was in Orangeville. I helped to set out tables and chairs and we proceeded through the ceremony. Whilst I believed in the afterlife, the ceremony did not make much of an impact on me. It was just nice to do.

Over the years the relevant paperwork has come through via email and sometimes I purchased a plaque, sometimes not – until my parents died even then I did not purchase a plaque every year.

In 2020, due to the pandemic, the ceremony became more important to me due to so many deaths from COVID-19 all over the world.

In 2021, listening to the directors of FLK speaking about the hungry ghosts and the lost souls who may be searching for peace, and the fact that although the souls may not still be of this world, any suffering they felt during their life time can remain, instantly made me think of my mother.

All her life my mother was a troubled lady, suffering depression and nightmares and if I may say so, quite a difficult person to live with. As she got older, she shared a story with me which helped me understand her behaviour.

At around the age of 5 or 6, she caught whooping cough and so did her younger brother but he died from the disease. A friend of my grandmother called to the house to offer her condolences and my mother heard my grandmother say “my daughter brought whooping cough home from school and my son caught it and died”.

My mother took those words to heart and felt responsible for her brother’s death and she carried that guilt all her life.

At the age of 93 she was diagnosed with terminal cancer and needed 24/7 care in a nursing home and the first night she was there she told me she spent the whole night talking about this experience to the nurse on duty. I hope she was able to ‘let go’ of her guilt at that time and find peace but that is something I will never know.

Having had the story go through my mind again and listening to the teachings, I can see that she could still possibly be a troubled soul and looking after all our ancestors after death and everyone in this world means so much more to me now and brings a deeper respect and understanding of our teachings.

Chanting (for All Souls Festival) is such a simple thing we can do to help others without having to even leave our homes.

Having had eye problems for almost two years, when my opticians emailed to say they were able to offer non-emergency eye tests again I made an appointment as ignoring it obviously hadn’t worked as well as I had hoped.

On impulse I decided to pay for an additional photograph of the back of the eye and this highlighted the problem. The optician said she would email the photo to the eye pavilion that day for urgent attention. This was the point I started to worry. However sharing my thoughts and concerns with FLK friends helped, as did a relatively new administrative role within the branch which requires a fair amount of concentration, a bit of trial and error and, of course, plenty of help and very welcome training.

Four weeks after receiving a letter saying I was on a waiting list and it could be a long wait, I was at the eye pavilion sitting outside a consultant’s office. Even then when another patient sat beside me and said why she was there I confidently told her my problem wasn’t nearly as bad as hers and I would be fine. Then I saw the consultant who told me he would make an appointment for me to have the same, in my view, very unpleasant and quite scary treatment as the lady I had just been speaking to! This would be carried out monthly for at least 3 months when more photographs would be taken to see what, if any, progress had been made.

In the lead up to the actual appointment some of my Taoist Tai Chi® practice felt really soft but very powerful. Focusing and letting go have taken on even more meaning during this time but I now see for my own good I really must try harder.

On the morning of my first treatment, having slept surprisingly well, I was getting ready to leave when I felt the beginnings of a panic attack. Fortunately, I was able to almost relax on the journey to the hospital.

I did try some seated dan yus during my first stint in the waiting room but it was far too hot. However, as I was sitting in what I think is the correct position for seated foundations, I rested my hands, tigers mouth, on my knees, looked straight ahead and basically focused on nothing. I was vaguely aware of voices nearby but sounds rather than words and, in fact, during the actual procedure I was amazed to be told I was still nice and relaxed.

We really are so very lucky to be able to share in Master Moy’s teachings.

This past year I embraced self practice in a way I never have before, Daily self practice has always been one of my challenges. I knew that I had to focus on something different, so I committed to chanting daily. After about a month, chanting, don yu and tor yu became a part of my daily routine.

I have noticed physical changes over the years from chanting. There was a time I couldn’t physically make it through a long chant, sitting on a chair listening through most of it. Eventually I was able to kneel through a whole 45 minute chant. The changes I feel now though are different. There is a strength inside of me that I haven’t noticed before. I am better able to cope with life and all it’s challenges. I am a worrier and am easily overwhelmed. Lately I have noticed a change at how I react to situations. I don’t feel as overwhelmed and I feel like I can handle the changes that I am facing with work and my family better than before. I recognize the worry and find it easier to let it go. My approach to work is different. My approach to my physical practice is different.

I am entering a new chapter in my mother’s life and have always worried that I couldn’t handle it. This past weekend I found myself facing a situation that in the past I might have avoided. I found myself dealing with it differently, with my mother, with the facility and with my siblings. That is when I realized how much stronger I was. As I face the changes in her I am realizing that I have the strength and the skills needed to help her.

His teachings, the practice, the opportunities to help and listen have been invaluable. The process of putting pen to paper has been invaluable.

The 16 months since sessions were suspended in March 2020 have been a time of reflection and adaptation. Getting into a new rhythm of practice was not easy but gradually I was able to achieve some degree of regularity with a consequential deepening of my practice. Perhaps the most significant thing that has happened over this time has been not so much the doing of the movements, but a greater appreciation of the deeper meaning of his teachings and the values and norms of what FLK is all about.

I am grateful to those who are guiding the organization for their long-range vision, not only in terms of navigating through these difficult times, but how his teachings might develop and grow in the future. As for his teachings, I have come to realize that this art is a blueprint for successful living and the establishment of right human relations. Overall, this has been a time of inner growth and expanding consciousness.

Message aux directeurs,

Merci d’avoir été présents chaque semaine.

Vous m’avez aidé à cheminer vers une meilleure compréhension des arts taoïstes et une meilleure connaissance de Institut de taoïsme Fung Loy Kok.

Merci de votre bienveillance, de vos encouragements à poursuivre la pratique personnelle et à conserver la quiétude.

Dans le contexte de confinement, les rencontres hebdomadaires m’ont permis de vivre des liens avec la communauté; un rappel des partages au Centre international d’Orangeville.

Mes pratiques personnelles ont favorisé un nouveau regard sur mon apprentissage (la force qui vient du sol, aller jusqu’au bout des mouvements, la détente …); un travail plus en profondeur.

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Message to the Directors,

Thank you for your weekly presence.

You have helped me to improve and deepen my understanding of the Taoist arts and a better knowledge of the Fung Loy Kok Institute of Taoism.

Thank you for your compassion and your encouragement to continue my personal practice and maintain my tranquility.

In the context of the pandemic, the weekly meetings allowed me to experience bonding with our community; a reminder of the sharing we had in the Orangeville International Center.

My personal practices helped me develop a new look at my own learning/findings (strength coming from the ground, complete the moves all the way, relaxation…); a deeper training.

In March 2020, when all in-person activities of FLK were suspended due to Covid-19, I started a daily practice of the Taoist Tai Chi® arts at home, kept in regular contact with the branch participants and maintained a connection with FLK through Saturday morning chanting and discussions lead by the directors. This practice provided a structure and meaning in my life at a time of collapse in the outside world.

>Deepening my understanding of FLK and the feeling in my practice is my focus for 2021. Self-practice is helping me to stay strong and healthy and not worry about what the future will look like. Working with the goal of trying to improve 1% each day helps me to let go of what life should be and accept what life is. Life is change and adjusting to change with a positive outlook helps me to stay calm and centred most of the time. I am grateful for the discussions about self-care and do not feel guilty about stepping aside from babysitting. As an older person I realize that the best gift to my family is my good health. Self-care is not selfish.

Sharing my reflections with others as part of the training from Master Moy does not come easily for me. I would prefer to be quiet and blend into the background. The discussions about leadership have helped me to recognize my responsibility to speak up for the organization as well as self-practice.

Listening to the FLK Board meeting on Wednesday mornings has given me an opportunity to deepen my trust in the leadership and to experience harmony in leadership on a deeper level.

Helping other is not being nice to everyone. The lessons in life are not always easy and sometimes requires us to look deep within ourselves to become a better person- “to polish our jade.” This process comes from Master Moy’s example.

I am very grateful for the thoughtful and consistent leadership of the FLK Directors throughout the pandemic.

I think I caught COVID at the end of March 2020 … Illness is always a great motivator for me and inspires me to do more practice. I upped my usual morning routine. A few months in we were encouraged to practice something of choice 50 times. I chose to practice 50 brush knee a day for 50 days. Each day I chose something to work on and focused on that. I’d often blamed my slightly swollen left foot for wobbly balance on my left side and discovered my foot wasn’t to blame at all! No, I wasn’t turning my foot to 45 and I wasn’t fully turning my palm up when taking my arm behind me, as well as many other things.

I continued working on a different aspect every day, learning lots, trying to recall as much instruction as I could from retreats and previous sessions. I became my own leader in training. I was able to continue for 5 weeks focusing on something different each day. The last 2 weeks were spent just enjoying the feeling. I felt like I floated across the ground effortlessly. It felt so balanced, each component led to the next movement automatically. I realized I’d concentrated on the form so that I could forget the form and then experience the feeling.

Then something happened with the chanting. It was difficult at first as my lungs were still sore and my energy low. But slowly and surely I got stronger and stronger and with strength came confidence and resolve. The physical benefits became really apparent. I also realized that I didn’t enjoy chanting for myself as much as chanting for others. Chanting with others in mind transformed the experience, it was much more powerful, enjoyable and energizing. It was a revelation, it helped open my heart, I felt more spiritually connected. I thought too, what a wonderful chance to help others around the world, where else could I do this?

Thank you for encouraging me to write my reflections. Reflecting has helped me be more grateful. This appreciation brings more joy to my life. Reflecting helps me understand myself better and what’s going on with me so that I can see what needs to be worked on. I’ve become aware of how Fung Loy Kok permeates my whole life. I try to apply his teachings to every part of my life. It helps me see how everything is connected. It helps me feel how everything is connected and understand that everything is really everything.

I feel everything is taken care of so I don’t have to worry about a thing.

Minulý rok bol pre mňa osobne veľmi intenzívny. Nikdy predtým som nebol tak vtiahnutý do činností našej organizácie ako počas obdobia pandémie. Veľa vecí sa podstatne zmenilo, zavreli sme skupiny, opustili centrá, osobné stretávanie sme presunuli sa do online priestoru a trénovali sami. Najskôr som sa musel na vzniknutej situácii prispôsobiť.

Veľmi oceňujem ako mi pomohli a pomáhajú sobotné stretnutia. Chanting mi pomohol skľudniť sa, nechať veci ísť, nestresovať sa aj keď som bol veľmi zaneprázdnený a pod tlakom, neobávať sa. Celkovo sa cítim viac uvoľnený. Snažím sa trénovať selfpractice počas celého dňa, consistency, selfdiscipline mi pomohli lepšie porozumieť ako na to. Predtým som rád cvičil zostavy, teraz sa to úplne otočilo a venujem sa hlavne donyu a toryu v menších dávkach, ale pravidelne počas celého dňa. Cítim oveľa lepšiu cirkuláciu a cítim sa dobre aj na konci pracovného dňa, čo predtým nebolo. Môžem urobiť viac a lepšie. Snažím sa vkladať practice do všetkého čo robím v osobnom živote.

Po roku časť ľudí odišla alebo prestali byť v kontakte, ale tí čo sme zostali vytvorili veľmi silné jadro organizácie. Cítim silu tejto skupiny. Sme oveľa silnejšia skupina lídrov, ktorá chce a je ochotná učiť sa a rozvíjať sa, ktorá chce pomáhať a je ochotná tvrdo pracovať. Učíme sa od seba, máme rôzne pohľady na vec, ale rešpektujeme sa navzájom a dôverujeme inštrukciám výboru FLK a ERC. Vidím, že sa rozvíjame a rastieme oveľa rýchlejšie ako predtým. Myslím, že sme pripravení znovu otvoriť, ale tiež rozumieme, že úroveň organizácie a naše porozumenie sa zmenilo, a že stretnutia/skupiny budú iné. Budeme trénovať umenia, ktoré nám zanechal majster Moy, a som presvedčený, že všetci naši lídri vedia, že to nie je len 108 pohybov.

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Last year was very intense for me personally. I have never been so involved in the activities of our organization before like during the pandemic time. Many things changed significantly. First we had to close sessions, then we left our center, moved personal meetings to online space and started with self-practice. First, I had to adapt to the new situation.

I really appreciate how the weekly Zoom meetings helped and are helping me. So many opportunities for chanting calms me down, lets things go. I feel less stress even when I am very busy and under pressure. I recall in my mind “not to worry”. Overall, I feel more relaxed. I am trying to do self-practice all day. With consistency and self-discipline that helped me better understand how to do it. Before I liked to do many sets, but now it’s completely changed and I focus on donyu and toryu, not much, but regularly all day. I feel much better circulation, opening and I feel good even at the end of my working day, which was not the case before. I can do more and better. I am also trying to put practice and understanding what I learned into everything I do in my personal life.

After a year some people left or stopped being in touch with us, but those who remained created a very strong core of the organization. I really feel the power of this group. We are a much stronger group of leaders in training who want and are willing to learn and develop, who want to help and are working hard. We are learning from each other, we have different perspectives, but we respect each other and trust the FLK Board and ERC. I see that we are developing and growing much faster than before. I think we are ready to reopen, but we also understand that the level of organization and our understanding has changed and that the sessions will be different. We will practise the Taoist Tai Chi® arts left to us by Master Moy, which are very rich and deep, and I am sure that our leaders understand very well that it is not just 108 movements.

When I joined FLK 11 years ago, I thought I would learn the movement and these few basic exercises within a short time, and then I wouldn’t need FLK, but could practise for myself – or look for something new. After all, I already had more than 10 years of martial arts experience. There I constantly had to learn new movements in order to progress, so 108 movements will surely become boring after a while. But even before the beginners’ course was over, I had attended my first retreat and got the first insight that it is not only about choreography but that the organization offers much more.

I felt like I was at a family gathering. I was warmly welcomed, everyone worked together in a very harmonious way and everyone was well looked after. The stories about Master Moy and about the tradition and the teachings, the testimonials during the retreat and my observations of the other participants, some of whom had been practising for many years, touched me deeply and above all made me realise that these arts require lifelong learning. The retreat had also motivated me to start self-practise in order not to forget all that I had learned from the retreat. After all, I could not practise what I had learned in the beginners’ course, but I wanted to complete it. The first retreat visit was followed by many others. Practising on my own, especially after a retreat visit, has become a habit, where I have tried to integrate and incorporate what I have learned into “my” Tai Chi. However, a continuous daily routine did not develop from this.

Only gradually did I start to feel the effects of his teachings. My posture changed, I went through life much more upright. Little by little I also noticed other effects. I used to be very nervous when I had to give a presentation in front of a large group, but after a few years of training I noticed that I am hardly worried before a presentation in front of a larger audience and have almost the same feeling when I give a presentation as when I stand in front of an FLK group.

The last 1.5 years have allowed me to reflect and learn a lot, also about myself. In particular, I noticed at the beginning of the pandemic that I had developed some false concepts, especially about my role as a leader in training. Whenever I started practising for myself, thoughts kept running through my head about what our members would say about us stopping the lessons, how can I motivate them to self-practise, can they be expected to do it, after all most of them don’t know the movements yet etc.?

This was not only annoying and very disruptive when practising, it taught me a lot about myself. Although I have always practised for myself from the beginning of my Taoist Tai Chi® path and I am aware of how I have benefited from it, in my subconscious I have denied the members both that they are capable of practising on their own and that they can and would do so on their own responsibility.

I worried far too much about something that was not my responsibility. Even though I have heard it several times before, I think it is only now that I have really understood that we as leaders in training only have the responsibility to show people the way, people then have to decide for themselves whether they want to go that way or not. That is so liberating.

The weekly zoom meetings have become such important appointments that I plan all other appointments around them on Saturdays. At first it just made me happy to see everyone, relatively quickly I realised that the meetings give me so much more. Many of the stories and his teachings have touched me deeply and given me food for thought and reflection for the whole week. Instead of mourning over what is not working or worrying about the future, the meetings have given me positive impulses that have not only made me calmer and more balanced but have also finally motivated me to practise daily.

After initial difficulties, the time of self-practise has now become a time of playing, trying things out, experimenting and silence. Whether I am actually getting 1% better every day I doubt. When I used to attend a 5 day retreat I usually noticed a significant change after the retreats, I was bubbling with energy and my body was open and I had to smile all the time. Now the progress is less pronounced, therefore less obvious. But unlike before, the changes are more consistent. The changes after a 5 day retreat were like climbing a mountain, first you climb to the top and then you slowly go back down to the valley, even though the next valley might not be so far down. Currently the changes feel more like a very slow but steady climb. I feel more connection, the aspect of letting go becomes clearer. But even after 1.5 years, I keep remembering instructions I heard earlier that can or should still be incorporated into the “experiment” – and then the playing starts all over again. It is incredibly exciting to observe how everything (timing, feeling, connection, etc.) can change, but then also to discover that one does something again instead of letting it happen. That’s why it never gets boring to work on the same movements – because I’ve realised that I don’t work on the movement but on myself through the movement, on all levels.

I feel the change most clearly during chanting. I used to enjoy chanting, but mostly avoided kneeling. Not only did it feel too much like a church service, but I was worried about whether I could keep it up, so I didn’t do it at all. I would never have thought of chanting on my own. That’s why at first I only chanted sitting down and only with the group, usually with headphones on, so that I couldn’t hear my voice so strongly. This has gradually changed. It took a few months and several attempts, but now chanting while kneeling is as natural as it used to be while standing or sitting, and even with the longer chants it is now no problem to practise whole passages myself. Mostly I only feel the physical effects of chanting (increased circulation (I get very warm), a relaxed but still upright posture), but at the meetings that took place during the week I noticed the mental aspects for the first time – because no matter how exhausting the day was, I was grounded and relaxed after practising.

Through the meetings that took place several times a week on a national and international level, through the administrative work, the connection to the organisation strengthened even more. Through this strong connection with FLK and the daily self-practice, not only has a piece of normality been preserved in these rather uncertain times, unlike many others in my environment, I feel stronger and more relaxed. I am very grateful for that!