Reflexionar sobre los beneficios obtenidos durante este tiempo de práctica individual ha sido duro. Después de pensarlo durante algún tiempo, he llegado a la conclusión, de que algunos de ellos aún son tan sutiles que, a día de hoy no puedo expresarlos por escrito. Por tanto me centraré en los que soy verdaderamente consciente que así son.

El equilibrio mental y psicológico que me aporta la regularidad de las sesiones de cantos de los sábados, la de los lunes y de todas las otras actividades de la asociación en las que estoy presente. Me ayudan a no abandonarme y a mantenerme conectado con la gente pues desde que dejé de liderar sesiones, asistir a los retiros y me jubilé, mi relación social se ha circunscrito a mi entorno familiar y poca cosa más.

En los cantos, cada vez me siento más conectado con ellos y estoy aprendiendo el deja ir y a ganar en resiliencia. Me ayudan a no dispersarme y a aprender de las diferentes versiones. No me preocupo si me equivoco. Estoy más atento y en la siguiente línea lo vuelvo a intentar.

Conocer mejor a mis compañeros. Las reuniones semanales de la rama, y a nivel nacional, me ha permitido conocer las reflexiones y el pensamiento de mis compañeros de la asociación. Conozco a muchos de ellos desde hace años, pero no ha sido hasta hora, en que hemos sido más capaces de compartir nuestras experiencias y pensamientos como nunca, tanto en lo relativo a nuestro día a día con el covid, como con nuestra evolución respecto a la práctica individual, las enseñanzas de los líderes internacionales y la evolución de la organización.

Constatar que cuanta más práctica de Taoist Tai Chi® hago, mejor me siento físicamente y cómo esta fortaleza me afecta psicológicamente y me permite afrontar mejor el día a día. Lo mismo al revés, cuanto menos practico, peor me siento y lo que es fácil se convierte en una dificultad. Tener las artes del Taoist Tai Chi® en mi vida es una gran cosa si las pongo en práctica y las hago mías. A pesar de la barrera del idioma, el mismo efecto ocurre con la organización, si me implico en ella me doy cuenta de la fortaleza que tiene y como esta me hace sentir que no estoy sólo y que oír compartir a otras personas su experiencia me ayuda muchísimo a comprender mi situación actual y la de los demás.

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Reflecting on the benefits obtained during this time of individual practice has been hard. After thinking about it for some time, I have come to the conclusion that some of them are still so subtle that I cannot express them in writing today. Therefore I will focus on those that I am truly aware that they are so.

The mental and psychological balance that brings me the regularity of the chanting sessions on Saturdays, Mondays and all the other activities of the organization in which I am present help me not to abandon myself and to stay connected with people because since I stopped leading sessions, attending retreats and retired, my social relations have been limited to my family environment and little else.

I feel more and more connected to the chantings and I am learning to let go and gain resilience. They help me not to disperse and to learn from the different versions. I don’t worry if I make a mistake. I am more attentive and I try again on the next line.

Getting to know my colleagues better. The weekly branch meetings, and at the national level, have allowed me to get to know the reflections and thinking of my fellow members of the organization. I have known many of them for years, but it has not been until now that we have been able to share our experiences and thoughts as never before, both in terms of our day to day life with COVID, as well as our evolution with respect to individual practice, the teachings of international leaders and the evolution of the organization.

I notice that the more  Taoist Tai Chi® practice I do, the better I feel physically and how this strength affects me psychologically and allows me to better cope with the day to day. The same thing the other way around, the less I practice the worse I feel and what is easy becomes a difficulty. Having the Taoist Tai Chi® arts in my life is a great thing if I put them into practice and make them my own. Despite the language barrier, the same effect happens with the organization, if I get involved in it I realize how strong it is and how it makes me feel that I am not alone and that hearing other people share their experience helps me a lot to understand my current situation and that of others.

One morning, my neighbour came up to me and said, “You have a good practice, getting stronger every day!“ I replied, “By going to synagogue every morning, you too have a good practice.” He nodded and said, “I have no choice!”

This response struck me. Initially, it seemed to me that any one of us has a choice to engage in any activity or practice. However, I thought a little more about my responsibility towards Master Moy’s teachings, my family and community. The question nagged me: is there not always a choice? …

Every day I get up early in the morning for my practice outside behind my home in the alleyway. During those early hours, I rarely see anyone. One person that I do occasionally see is a Hasidim, a practitioner of Orthodox Judaism. Dressed in a black coat, wearing his long curled bangs and beard, he walks to synagogue for morning prayers.

I live in Montreal right next to a prominent Hasidic community. Generally, there is not much exchange with the Hasidim but with this man it is different. As our paths crossed early in the morning, we greet one another and sometimes chat. One morning as I was practicing, he came up to me and said, “You have a good practice, getting stronger every day!“. I replied, “By going to synagogue every morning, you too have a good practice.” He nodded and, as he walked away, turned to me and replied, “I have no choice!”

“I have no choice!“. This response struck me. I thought about my practice and whether I have a choice. Initially, it seemed to me that any one of us has a choice to engage in any activity or practice. However, I thought a little more about my responsibility towards Master Moy and what he taught us. I thought about my responsibility towards my family and community to maintain my good health. The question nagged me: is there not always a choice?

But more recently I have been paying closer attention to the question of the feeling, not only during practice but checking in often in my day-to-day activities. How do I feel, what do I feel, what am I connected to?

What I understand today is, when the feeling is unattached, not judgmental, without too much thought and not anchored in some kind of desire or fear, it is – I’m not sure how to put it – light, free flowing, present. I sensed that going against that feeling, it would be a kind of violence against myself. In that sense, I feel I have no choice. It reminds me of something Mr. Moy once told me.

In 1988, during a workshop, he asked me out onto the floor in front of all the participants to ask me why I am being cocky about the work that I had been doing in Poland. He had me demonstrate brush knee in front of everyone. After observing me he told me that the way I am practicing I am killing myself.

For years I had not really understood what he meant. It is thanks to our reflections these past few years that I feel I understand a little more. I think back then, I was really tense, controlling, and holding on to my thoughts, analyzing, positioning. That tightness and puffiness hardening the body and mind rather than softening it. I understand that, by the way I was practicing and through my attitude, I was hurting myself. Maintaining that outlook would have led me over the years to greater harm.

It is hard for me to maintain sensitivity on a regular basis. I do have a feeling of what to look for. It requires a sense of presence while letting go. It is challenging but I get a bit better at it every day. I see it as “eyes see, hands do” of the spirit!

I am grateful for his teachings and the guidance and wisdom of the directors.

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Un matin, mon voisin s’est approché de moi et m’a dit: “Tu as une bonne pratique, tu es plus fort chaque jour!” Je lui ai répondu : “En allant à la synagogue tous les matins, toi aussi tu as une bonne pratique.” Il a hoché la tête et a dit: “Je n’ai pas le choix !”

Cette réponse m’a frappé. Au départ, il me semblait que chacun d’entre nous a le choix de s’engager dans n’importe quelle activité ou pratique. Cependant, j’ai réfléchi un peu plus à ma responsabilité envers les enseignements de Maître Moy, ma famille et ma communauté. La question me taraudait: n’y a-t-il pas toujours un choix? …

Chaque jour, je me lève tôt le matin pour m’entraîner derrière chez moi, dans la ruelle. Pendant ces premières heures, je vois rarement quelqu’un. Une personne que je vois occasionnellement est un Hassidim, un pratiquant du judaïsme orthodoxe. Vêtu d’un manteau noir, portant sa longue frange bouclée et sa barbe, il se rend à la synagogue pour les prières du matin.

Je vis à Montréal, juste à côté d’une importante communauté hassidique. En général, il n’y a pas beaucoup d’échanges avec les hassidim, mais avec cet homme, c’est différent. Comme nos chemins se croisent tôt le matin, nous nous saluons et bavardons parfois.

Un matin, alors que je m’entraînais, il s’est approché de moi et m’a dit : “Tu as une bonne pratique, tu deviens plus fort chaque jour !”. Je lui ai répondu : “En allant à la synagogue tous les matins, toi aussi tu as une bonne pratique”. Il a hoché la tête et, alors qu’il s’éloignait, s’est tourné vers moi et m’a répondu : “Je n’ai pas le choix !”.

“Je n’ai pas le choix !”. Cette réponse m’a frappé. J’ai réfléchi à ma pratique et à la question de savoir si j’avais le choix. Initialement, il me semblait que chacun d’entre nous avait le choix de s’engager dans n’importe quelle activité ou pratique. Cependant, j’ai pensé un peu plus à ma responsabilité envers Maître Moy et ce qu’il nous a enseigné. J’ai pensé à ma responsabilité envers ma famille et ma communauté pour maintenir ma bonne santé. La question me taraudait : n’y a-t-il pas toujours un choix ?

Mais plus récemment, j’ai prêté plus d’attention à la question du ressenti, non seulement pendant la pratique mais pendant mes activités quotidiennes. Comment est-ce que je me sens, qu’est-ce que je ressens, à quoi suis-je connecté ?

Ce que j’ai compris aujourd’hui, c’est que lorsque le sentiment n’est pas attaché, qu’il ne porte pas de jugement, qu’il n’est pas trop réfléchi et qu’il n’est pas ancré dans une sorte de désir ou de peur, il est – je ne sais pas comment le dire – léger, fluide, présent. J’ai senti qu’aller à l’encontre de ce sentiment, ce serait une sorte de violence contre moi-même. Dans ce sens, je sens que je n’ai pas le choix.

Cela me rappelle quelque chose que M. Moy m’a dit un jour. En 1988, au cours d’un atelier, il m’a fait sortir dans la salle devant tous les participants pour me demander pourquoi je me montrais orgueilleux à propos du travail que j’avais fait en Pologne. Il m’a fait faire une démonstration du mouvement brosse genou devant tout le monde. Après m’avoir observé il m’a dit qu’en pratiquant de cette manière, je me tuais.

Pendant des années, je n’avais pas vraiment compris ce qu’il voulait dire. C’est grâce à nos réflexions de ces dernières années que j’ai l’impression de comprendre un peu mieux. Je pense qu’à l’époque, j’étais vraiment tendu, je contrôlais, je m’accrochais à mes pensées, j’analysais, je me positionnais. Cette crispation et ce gonflement durcissait le corps et l’esprit au lieu de l’adoucir. Je comprends que, par la façon dont je pratiquais et par mon attitude, je me faisais du mal. Maintenir cette attitude m’aurait conduit, au fil des ans, à la souffrance.

Il m’est difficile de maintenir ma sensibilité sur une base régulière. Je sais ce que je dois rechercher. Cela demande un sens de la présence tout en lâchant prise. C’est un défi, mais je m’y prends un peu mieux chaque jour. Je vois cela comme “les yeux voient, les mains font” de l’esprit !

Je suis reconnaissant pour ses enseignements et pour les conseils et la sagesse des directeurs.

Ma première séance de pratique Tai Chi TaoïsteMD remonte à janvier 2007, j’avais 55 ans.

C’est intéressant de constater que je me souvienne de la date, ça fait tout de même presque 15 ans. Je me souviens que je n’étais pas tellement en forme physiquement, ma masse musculaire avait beaucoup diminué suite aux années de soins accordées à ma famille et j’avais beaucoup de douleurs au bas du dos.

C’était un petit groupe de 5-6 personnes. C’était une séance d’une heure à l’heure du dîner. Comme j’arrivais du travail et que j’y retournais ensuite, j’étais pas mal agitée en arrivant et en mode performance. Toujours faire vite, apprendre vite, ne pas faire d’erreur. J’étais en mode compétitive par rapport aux autres, à l’image du milieu du travail.

J’arrive donc à ce cours où il règne un silence et un calme. Le leader de la séance ne parle pratiquement pas français et donc dit très peu de choses (maintenant je comprends que ce n’était pas nécessairement la barrière de la langue mais la méthode utilisée qui donnait cette ambiance).

Je me souviens que ça m’agaçait de ne pas avoir plus d’explications, j’aime bien tout comprendre. Je trouvais aussi le rythme trop lent à mon goût.

Alors pourquoi suis-je restée? Je n’ai pas encore toutes les réponses. J’étais inconfortable mais j’ai laissé une chance au leader, à moi-même et aux enseignements de Maître Moy. Faire les mouvements sans trop me poser de questions, sans chercher une réponse intellectuelle, faisait contraste avec mon tempérament, mon travail et ma vie familiale. Ça calmait mon esprit, ça me reconnectait avec mon corps et avec le moment présent. Comment je me sens? Cette question, souvent on ne s’autorise pas à se la poser lorsqu’on a une famille. Les besoins des enfants passent avant tout et on s’oublie.

Après quelques semaines, mes douleurs au dos se sont atténuées et j’ai retrouvé un peu plus de souplesse ce qui m’a aussi encouragé à persister. J’ai aussi compris et surtout senti qu’il n’y avait aucune forme de compétition, ça a contribué à diminuer l’inquiétude et modifié mon attitude reliée à la performance.

Ça a apporté plus de détente. Je ne parlerais pas encore ici de quiétude, cet aspect viendra plus tard dans mon parcours.

Voilà mes souvenirs jusqu’à maintenant sur mes tout débuts. Je poursuis ma réflexion, il me revient encore plusieurs souvenirs qui teintent mon cheminement taoïste pas seulement au début mais à différentes périodes. À suivre…

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My first Taoist Tai Chi^® practice session was in January 2007, I was 55 years old.

It’s interesting that I remember the date, it’s been almost 15 years. I remember that I was not in good shape physically, my muscle mass had decreased a lot after years of caring for my family and I had a lot of pain in my lower back.

It was a small group of 5-6 people. It was at lunch time, a one-hour session. Since I was coming straight from work and had to go back right after, I was quite agitated when I arrived, and I was in a performance mode. Always do it fast, learn fast, don’t make mistakes. I was in a competitive mode compared to others, just like the work environment.

So, I arrived at this session, where there was silence and calm. The leader in training (LIT) hardly spoke any French and therefore said very little (now I understand that it was not necessarily the language barrier, but the method used that provided this calm atmosphere).

I remember that it annoyed me not to have more explanations, I like to understand everything. I also found the pace too slow for my taste.

So why did I stay? I don’t have all the answers yet. I was uncomfortable but I gave the LIT, myself, and the teachings a chance. Doing the movements without asking too many questions, without looking for an intellectual answer, was in contrast with my personality, my work, and my family life. It calmed my mind, reconnected me with my body and with the present moment. How do I feel? This is a question we often don’t allow ourselves to ask when we have a family. The needs of the children come first, and we forget ourselves.

After a few weeks, my back pain subsided and I regained a little bit more flexibility, which also encouraged me to continue.

I also understood and especially felt that there was no competition, which contributed to reducing my anxiety and modified my attitude related to performance.

It brought me more relaxation. I wouldn’t say peace of mind yet, this aspect will come later in my journey.

These are my memories up to now of my very beginnings. I continue my reflection; I still remember several memories that influenced my Taoist Tai Chi^® path not only at the beginning but at different periods. To be continued…

Je suis à l’Institut de taoïsme Fung Loy Kok depuis 1990, c’est sûr que ma pratique m’a apporté des changements physiques de tout mon être et de ma vie personnelle.

Ma pratique avec les séances et ma pratique personnelle m’a aidée à garder une flexibilité qui s’est répercutée sur mon état d’esprit. Pour moi, ce point est important car il se relie aussi à mon corps, le fait d’être plus calme, concentrée dans l’instant présent.

Le bénévolat que j’ai fait et que je fais encore m’aide à garder l’ouverture du cœur aux autres.

J’apprends à me connaître davantage et être à mon écoute. J’avais quand même au début mes qualités et défauts mais je pense que j’ai pu faire ressortir et améliorer mes qualités.

Avec le temps, je vois, je sens que si je veux maintenir ces beaux acquis, je me dois de continuer de suivre ses enseignements.

Merci de me lire et que j’ai pu faire le point sur les enseignements reçus sur cette voie taoïste. Merci à tous ceux et celles qui m’ont guidée sur ce chemin.

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I have been with the Fung Loy Kok Institute of Taoism since 1990 and it is certain that my practice has brought physical changes to my whole being and to my personal life.

My personal practice as well as the sessions have helped me to keep a flexibility that has been reflected in my state of mind. For me, this is important because it also relates to my body, being more calm, focused in the moment.

The volunteer work I have done and still do helps me to keep my heart open to others. I am getting to know myself better and to listen to the feeling. At first, I had my qualities and flaws, but I think I was able to bring out and improve my qualities.

With time, I see and feel that if I want to maintain these wonderful achievements, I need to follow his teachings.

Thank you for reading and for that opportunity to reflect on his teachings of this Taoist Tai Chi^® path. Thank you to all those who have guided me on this path.

Zaráža ma, ako často ľudia vravia o poslednom období, ako o najhoršom čase, plnom neslobody a strachu. Keď naši lídri povedali, že pandémia je obdobím veľkých príležitosti a mali by sme za ňu istým spôsobom byť vďačný, bolo to akoby mi hovorili priamo z duše.

Obdobie pandémie vnímam ako úžasnú príležitosť počas ktorej s nami naši lídri zdieľajú jeho bohaté umenia prostredníctvom inšpirujúcich príbehov a čas, ktorý máme na náš individuálny tréning nám dáva možnosť objavovať samých seba na úrovniach, o ktorých sme nemali potuchy. Stačí to len vyskúšať a každý sa sám presvedčí o tom, že to skutočne funguje.

Najdôležitejším poznaním za posledné obdobie pre mňa však bolo, ako veľmi je dôležité si navzájom pomáhať. Našu organizáciu som od začiatku vnímal, že je predovšetkým o nezištnej pomoci. A v tom chcem aj do budúcna pokračovať, či už ako LIT osobne na skupinách, alebo počas online stretnutí, alebo v administratíve.

Našťastie je toľko príležitostí trénovať jeho umenia, pretože len vďaka osobnej skúsenosti môžeme byť schopní úprimne zdieľať všetko, čo sme sa naučili iným.

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It amazes me how often people talk about the last period as the worst time, full of fear and lack of freedom. When our leaders said that the pandemic was a time of great opportunity and we should be grateful for it in some way, it was as if they were speaking directly from my heart.

I see the pandemic as a wonderful opportunity during which our leaders are sharing his teachings with us through inspiring stories, and the time we have for our individual training gives us the opportunity to discover ourselves at levels we have no idea about. Just try it and everyone will see for themselves that it really works.

However, the most important knowledge of recent times for me was how important it is to help each other. From the beginning, I perceived our organization that it is primarily about selfless help. And I want to continue to do so in the future, whether as leaders in training, in person or in groups, or during online meetings, or in administration.

Fortunately, there are so many opportunities to practice his teachings, because only through personal experience we can be able to sincerely share everything what we have learned.

From Pre-Pandemic, Through Shut-Down … For?

FROM which:

At the start of the pandemic I attended 4 x 2hour sessions and filled the Branch Treasurer role, committing 12 hours a week.

In hindsight, none of this time was directed towards the organisation nor my own development. Hence my journey reflects on ‘for’ rather than the more usual destination of ‘to’.

THROUGH which:

The pandemic stripped away all sessions and responsibilities at a stroke, and, like having a stroke, I needed to establish new connections in order to function.

I redirected my 12 hours to the local community as a volunteer at the local hospital. An opportunity for engaging with people outside of my own self-importance. This drip-fed my understanding of myself and of what support is needed to keep an organisation strong. I felt that all of this was, somehow, his teachings too. It sharpened my focus.

FOR which:

Pre-pandemic I was giving a little but had taken so much. As sessions were suspended I saw so many members withdraw their support. I saw myself in their actions. I began to recognise that classes weren’t set up through my efforts and for myself… a typical ‘I thought I was (or wasn’t)’ moment.

The people, myself, weren’t important. None of us will last. What is important is the organisation that Master Moy created. Its structure, and its roots are what holds the body together. Everything has a unique purpose and needs no adjustment nor physical effort by me.

I need no knowledge, no understanding nor any wisdom. All of this is built into the body. I just need to trust its structure, to sink into it and, with diligent practise (the ease of arts, of form, of admin and of life) to grow strong, to feel and appreciate the connections, the flow and the harmony.

I need to be a rootlet that keeps the organisation growing so that it is there in the future for others yet to come. Not only do I need personal practice, I need to practice being a person, a contributor, a servitor.

Instead of being proud of what I know, I will acknowledge that it is all I know – I am opening to the growing I’ve yet to achieve. I’m feeling stronger.

Having always been into fitness and physical activities since a child, I came to FLK looking for an activity to learn and practise as I became older and less able to perform my other physical activities. I had visited China and seen Tai Chi performed in parks. I loved the outdoor nature of it plus no equipment needed. Also you could do it alone, not requiring the support of others.

I had broken my elbow, and from this accident realised the effect this had my total body movement; not just my arm, but wrist, fingers, shoulder neck and back. The importance of maintaining my whole body for physical well-being became apparent. The inter-relationship of movements was clearly evident to me.

With Taoist Tai Chi® practice, I found a form of exercise that strengthens my whole body. I have noticed improvement in balance, flexibility, left/ right body awareness, muscular movements, as well as posture and support for my spine and scoliosis.

When I joined FLK in February 2018, I continually heard the mantra of relax, straighten your hips, turn your body, shift the weight, ground the feet etc. At the first this had little meaning, but as I attended more sessions we focused on each aspect and slowly things started to make sense and my body started to respond.

Through the COVID lockdown, I put into practice the different aspects of our training and learnt the movements. I looked forward to our return to in person sessions to have my bad habits corrected. Since returning, I have with the leaders’ in training guidance focused on how my body feels and adjusted my moves accordingly to feel the benefits (e.g. the stretch, transfer of weight etc.).

I have noticed improvements in my balance, and flexibility, my niggly thoracic pain has gone, I have full range of arm movements and I can pick up my grandchildren.

When I began going to sessions; at the little hall in 2016, I remember thinking that I would never be able to do what the leader was showing me. I was intrigued. She looked so peaceful and graceful in her movements. I felt clumsy and uncoordinated but I wanted to feel relaxed and peaceful so I persevered.

Taoist Tai Chi® practice has helped me with my balance (which was not good at all in 2016 after a long illness), helped me to find my physical self again and helped me to recognise the connection between body and mind. I don’t know how this happened but I just kept going to classes and talking to other members.

Here is an example- today I was in the garden and I placed my foot in the wrong place which normally would put me off balance and I would be forced to stop what I was doing. Because of my practice, I was able to replace my foot in the correct position and continue with my gardening.

I continue to develop my own practice as I can see the benefits that come from it. I wish I had started when I was 20!

Estos dos años como Líder en Formación han sido de aprendizaje y ayuda. Con la práctica personal he podido observar mejor los movimientos, la expansión, lo importante que es el cambio de peso. El practicar para uno mismo ayuda mucho para poder ayudar a otra persona y observar cómo te sientes cuando prácticas, también.

La práctica diaria te hace más consciente que sus enseñanzas lo llevas contigo siempre y en todos los lugares.

También he aprendido que tengo que trabajar mi ego (y mucho), confiar en la herramienta y no pensar si voy a transmitir mal o bien, si no en transmitir y en cómo ayudar a otra persona.

También estoy aprendiendo a reflexionar y a hablar en público. He conocido los cantos un poco más.

Por último, en estos dos años he recogido herramientas de las conexiones y charlas que tengo guardadas y que confío que saldrán cuando las necesite.

Tengo mucho por practicar y trabajar.

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These two years as a leader in training have been helpful and full of learning. With personal practice I have been able to observe better the movements, the expansion, how important the weight shift is. Practicing for yourself helps a lot to be able to help someone else and to observe how you feel when you practice, too.

The daily practice makes you more aware that you carry his teachings with you always and everywhere.

I have also learned that I have to work on my ego (and a lot), to trust the tool and not to think if I am going to transmit his teachings badly or well, but to (simply) transmit and how to help another person.

I am also learning to reflect and to speak in public.

I have gotten to know the chants a little better.

Finally, in these two years I have picked up tools from connections and discussions that I have in storage and that I trust will come out when I need them.

I have a lot to practice and work on.

In January of this year I had a heart attack. I thought how could this be happening to me? I’m in good physical condition and had changed some things for better living. I felt angry, disappointed, frustrated, and confused. Then to be in a pandemic, life did not seem good at all.

I thought that my situation didn’t just occur. I had no problem practicing all those years to get to that moment. We were asked to do self practice which seemed to be another hurdle, however I knew the importance of it.

I realized that time is one of the most precious things we have. The importance of it, what you decide to do with it, is what really counts. I read this saying; “Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass. It’s about learning to dance in the rain”.

Self practice has given me the opportunity for improvement mentally and physically, discipline, softness and the courage to keep going. Chanting is challenging, however it seems to be helping with my breathing and has given me some confidence. I find myself calmer and willing to listen when dealing with certain situations, rather than reacting and possibly escalating the situation.

I have a long ways to go, however I’m aware of and feel the changes, and have a better understanding that one percent everyday is the key and the medicine for improvement.

C’est une amie du travail qui m’a amenée à la pratique Tai Chi Taoïste. Elle en faisait lorsque nous allions prendre nos pauses à l’extérieur. Elle me parlait des bienfaits qu’elle ressentait et du plaisir qu’elle avait d’aller faire des retraites taoïstes à Orangeville. À l’automne 2015 j’ai donc décidé de m’inscrire.

J’étais dans un état lamentable lorsque j’ai débuté. Depuis plus de 6 ans, mon fils avait de sérieux problèmes de consommation. À ce jour, je considère que ç’a été la plus grande épreuve de ma vie. J’étais dans une inquiétude permanente. Je réagissais à ce qui arrivait ou j’anticipais ce qui pourrait arriver. J’avais des violentes céphalées de tension plusieurs jours par semaine, des problèmes de sommeil et une irritabilité continuelle. J’étais épuisée mentalement par tous ces tourments. Je fonctionnais sur le pilote automatique, seule ma volonté d’avancer me tenait debout.

Nous étions deux nouveaux participants à tenter d’apprendre cette chorégraphie incompréhensible. Semaine après semaine, je revenais à la maison et je disais à mon conjoint comment je trouvais ça difficile et que j’avais l’impression d’apprendre le chinois avec mon corps.

Je me suis mise à regarder Maître Moy sur le site internet dans l’espoir de mémoriser l’enchaînement. Juste le regarder me faisait du bien.

Avec ma grande volonté et ma discipline personnelle, je me suis dit que je pouvais y arriver. Je me suis mise à pratiquer des petites séquences que nous avions vues pendant les séances et quelques mouvements de fondation.

Je me souviens d’un matin où je pratiquais, j’ai senti mes mains qui se parlaient. L’une savait où était l’autre.

Je recommençais à ressentir mon corps, je reprenais contact avec lui par la douceur plutôt que la douleur. Ça m’a beaucoup touchée et j’en ai parlé à mon Leader qui m’a encouragée à continuer.

Ces pratiques me demandaient beaucoup de concentration et d’attention.

Je me sentais beaucoup plus calme après.

Ces moments sont devenus un rendez-vous intime où il n’y avait que moi et la pratique Tai Chi Taoïste, un espace sacré commençait à se construire.

Petit à petit mon corps allait mieux. La fréquence et l’intensité de mes maux de tête diminuaient. Je remarquais aussi que la qualité de mon sommeil s’améliorait. J’étais maintenant capable de me reposer, de me déposer et de m’apaiser.

Ma pratique est devenue un ancrage et une source d’équilibre et d’apaisement dans le tourbillon de ma vie. Ça m’a vraiment aidé à reconstruire ma santé physique et mentale.

Mon fils, même s’il ne vivait plus à la maison, m’appelait souvent pour que je puisse le dépanner. Je l’ai aidé à de nombreuses reprises à se sortir de ses problèmes financiers. Même si je savais que ses difficultés étaient dues à sa consommation, je l’aidais quand même. J’étais incapable de lui dire non.

Après quelques années d’entraînement, j’arrivais à prendre un peu de recul et à être plus solide. Je sortais enfin de la tempête émotive que tout ça m’occasionnait. Je voyais plus clair et j’arrivais à avoir du détachement.

Cette solidité qui se construisait me permettait d’être capable de mettre mes limites et de lui dire non quand il m’appelait pour l’aider.

Petit à petit, tout ça a permis de lui faire vivre les désagréments de sa consommation. L’année dernière, il s’est décidé à faire une cure fermée et il a enfin reconnu son problème de consommation.

Il est maintenant dans un processus, il est mieux outillé pour faire face à sa dépendance.

Avec le recul, je constate que j’ai vécu un véritable processus de transformation. Je suis de plus en plus capable de dire non aux autres sans avoir à mentir ou à me justifier par peur de décevoir ; je suis capable de me choisir ; je suis capable de ne pas toujours être la gentille ; je suis capable d’être de plus en plus authentique et fidèle à moi-même ; je prends du temps pour m’entraîner sans culpabilité ; je m’absente pour aller faire des retraites taoïstes et améliorer ma compréhension des enseignements de Maître Moy ; je suis plus patiente et plus calme ; je suis capable de me désamorcer quand je perds le contrôle.

J’étais en train de m’effondrer, je me construis maintenant un temple où il fait bon vivre, où je vais à la rencontre de mes ancêtres et des déités qui m’accompagnent sur ma route.

En conclusion, je dirais que je suis venue à l’Institut de taoïsme Fung Loy Kok pour soigner mon corps et à ma grande surprise c’est mon esprit qui s’est apaisé puis mon corps s’est enfin soulagé et maintenant c’est mon cœur qui s’ouvre.

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It was a friend from work who introduced me to Taoist Tai Chi® practice. She used to do it when we went outside for our breaks. She would tell me about the benefits she felt and how much she enjoyed going on Taoist retreats in Orangeville. So in the fall of 2015 I decided to sign up.

I was in terrible shape when I started. For over 6 years my son had been having serious substance abuse problems. To this day, I consider it the biggest ordeal of my life. I was in constant anxiety. I was reacting to what was happening or anticipating what might happen. I had severe tension headaches several days a week, sleeping problems and constant irritability. I was mentally exhausted by all this turmoil. I was running on automatic pilot, only my will to move forward was keeping me upright.

We were two new participants trying to learn this incomprehensible choreography. Week after week, I would come home and tell my partner how difficult I found it and how I felt like I was learning Chinese with my body.

I started watching Master Moy on the website in hopes of memorizing the sequence. Just watching him made me feel good. With my strong will and self-discipline, I thought I could do it. I started practicing little sequences that we had seen during the sessions and some foundation moves.

I remember one morning when I was practicing, I felt my hands talking to each other. One knew where the other was. I started to feel my body again, I got in touch with it through gentleness instead of pain. It touched me a lot and I talked about it to my leader in training who encouraged me to continue.

These practices required a lot of concentration and attention. I felt much calmer afterwards. These moments became an intimate rendez-vous where there was only me and the practice, a sacred space began to be built.

Little by little my body was getting better. The frequency and intensity of my headaches were decreasing. I also noticed that the quality of my sleep was improving. I was now able to rest, settle down and soothe myself.

My practice became an anchor and a source of balance and calm in the whirlwind of my life. It has really helped me rebuild my physical and mental health.

My son, even though he was no longer living at home, would often call me to help him out. I helped him out of his financial problems on many occasions. Even though I knew his difficulties were due to his consumption, I still helped him. I was unable to say no to him.

After a few years of training, I was able to take a step back and be more solid. I was finally getting out of the emotional storm that this was causing me. I was able to see more clearly and I was able to have some detachment.

This solidity that was being built allowed me to be able to set my limits and to say no when my son called me to help him.

Little by little, all of this allowed him to experience the inconveniences of his consumption. Last year, he decided to go to a closed rehab and he finally acknowledged his substance abuse problem.

He is now in a process, he is better equipped to deal with his addiction.

Looking back, I can see that I have gone through a real transformation process. I am more and more able to say no to others without having to lie or justify myself for fear of disappointing them; I am able to choose myself; I am able to not always be the nice one; I am able to be more and more authentic and true to myself; I take time to train without guilt; I take time off to go to Taoist retreats and improve my understanding of Master Moy’s teachings; I am more patient and calm; I am able to defuse myself when I lose control.

I was falling apart, I am now building a temple where it is good to live, where I go to meet my ancestors and the deities who accompany me on my way.

In conclusion, I would say that I came to the Fung Loy Kok Institute of Taoism to heal my body, and to my great surprise it was my mind that calmed down. Then my body finally got some relief, and now it is my heart that opens up._

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I first joined the organization when I was 26 years old, 34 years ago.

I was a skinny and nervy guy. I remember being frustrated and impatient to learn the movements. Nevertheless, I learned the movements quite quickly and moved on to a continuing session. One of the first physical changes that I noticed was that my stomach relaxed. It actually hurt a bit as my insides sloshed around when I walked home after a session.

I remember enjoying the playfulness of learning the movements and a similar atmosphere during sessions. I had an eagerness to learn and to exchange with the group. I was often at my location practising with those that were there.

I remember two physical issues from that period of my life.

I suspect that they were tied to each other. For the first, I felt I had a void in my solar plexus region. I remember making a drawing of myself and pencilling in a big hole in the middle of my torso. The second issue was when I would walk, I would often look down at the pavement. It annoyed me to no end! I would try to straighten myself out and, as my thoughts wandered, I would find that my head had tilted down, and I’d be looking at the sidewalk again.

I’m not entirely sure when looking down at the pavement stopped but I haven’t done it for years. I’m sure that this change occurred gradually due to my practice and involvement in the FLK.

As to the hole in the solar plexus, my old friend is still there 🙂 but it has mostly filled out now. This change was slow, tugging at my insides over the years. Regular practice during the pandemic further helped to open the solar plexus region and open up the chest.

It was maybe three months after I had become a participant that I travelled to Toronto to meet Master Moy.

It was the spring, and in the fall, I would be leaving my home town Montreal to travel to Poland to start my film studies there. The week or so that I spent in Toronto following Mr. Moy was transformative. To this day I’m not even sure I understand the depth of learning that occurred during that short period. At the time I was unaware of this importance of this learning. I was naïve and innocent to what was going on around me. I would attend all the sessions where Mr. Moy taught where I met many of the participants that were the regulars at the time.

I remember practising being easy, fun, and playful. As I think about it today, there was a lightness about how I moved. I remember in particular practising push hands during a session where it would seem that any push would just roll off me like water off a duck. It was a bit of an unreal feeling and I remember feeling kind of giddy about it.

There were several profound moments during my stay in Toronto when following Master Moy in his daily activities. I kind of went along for the ride not really knowing fully what I was experiencing. However, those memories are still very much alive in my mind today. I have only given them anecdotal consideration until now.

I am grateful for the encouragement to “chew” on these memories. I realize that they are a bit like an anchor for lifelong change and how to understand that change. The reflection on where I started from, what it was like, what I was like, helps me understand the change that occurred and continues to occur within me. But more importantly, it gives me a sense of firmness or depth to the learning. I feel like I’m growing small roots in my feet. And these tentacles strengthen me in all levels of my practice.

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