When the pandemic arrived and NZ was in lockdown, because my work is in health information systems, the demands were frantic. I couldn’t practise without being interrupted by phone calls and after a while it became just “snatches” of practise. During the last year I hurt my back more frequently, damaged my knee and shoulder, and spent much time at physiotherapy. Finally I made the connection between the two. Now I don’t interrupt my practise to answer the phone. Because of the pain in my arm and shoulder I’m discovering how important simple things like hand position affect how much the shoulder moves and opens. Everything is connected. 

There have been a number of signposts in my Taoist Tai Chi® path that lead me to this point.

  • First day – I told someone that the leader could not possibly have meant the example of alignment that was shown and pointed out. My body was not able to line up ankle, knee, hip and shoulder as shown and I thought the leader must be wrong because our bodies don’t do that. It was probably the first time in my life of awareness of my body movement.
  • First local retreat before I had finished learning the movements. I felt like I was being swept around in the current of the room full of people turning, and discovery of a half step and weight shifting which we looked at over 2 days.
  • Dropping down to a cupboard at home and realising that Taoist Tai Chi® practise changed the way I move in everyday life.
  • Being able to remember the movements and doing my own practise at the end of each day during multi-day hikes. Taoist Tai Chi® practise in many remote places gave a sense of peace, calm, stillness and beauty within the set.
  • Realisation that there is more to it than just body exercise.
  • First national retreat – who were these people who were so excited about a place called Orangeville. It seemed to be a whole different, larger FLK world that I was not aware of until then (even though it had been talked about.)
  • Being corrected because I didn’t attend a “training retreat” for leaders in training when I had been invited. A glimpse that there is behaviour etiquette and virtues that we practise.
  • Becoming part of the branch governance and the gift and privilege of leading – delighting in people’s learning and thinking that watching them was almost like seeing a mirror. But not seeing further than that.
  • First international retreat and repetition of one small movement for such a long time – dropping/opening the base of the spine and the sudden realisation that my arms were moving without any conscious intervention.
  • Ongoing involvement and leadership at the branch and invitation to take on more responsibility in continuing leadership. Strengthening the connections with others in the local and national then international oraganization, and feeling that I was part of a family and a way of life.
  • Asking about some specifics of the a particular movement foundation and being told that it was a mystery.
  • Hearing Master Moy stories.
  • Glimpses of understanding about the inherent opposites in the learning – yin and yang, soft and strong, drop and rise together and the circles that move throughout the moves.
  • First retreat at Orangeville and practising many movements that felt like just one move afterwards at Toronto airport. The incredible and definite feeling of the energy within as if it is a separate almost physical movement both inside and outside of me at the same time.
  • Being told to just “notice those feelings and move on” – letting go.
  • Being asked to join the national board and take on further administrative responsibilities and learning that the more governance I was involved in the more open my practice felt.
  • Responding to major mistakes made in a personal building project with calmness, clarity and compassion and deeply realising that Master Moy’s teachings also affect my character in a positive way.
  • Developing stress related health issues due to pressures of work and experiencing an epiphany moment where my sadness and concern about this almost physically lifted out of me during practice on the deck at Orangeville. Accepting that I couldn’t know how that had happened but knowing that it had occurred and the anxiety was gone.
  • Small groups at international retreats and realising that reflecting only what the international leader in training had demonstrated was much better for participants, and they improved more by emphasising a few simple points and letting them practise – just watching and not taking responsibility for their learning but leaving them alone more. Not being so emotionally involved when they get it or when they don’t, and learning to be more simple in instruction and say less.
  • Being given a firm correction that I was not listening and attempting to be a better listener as a result of that.
  • Reflecting how the international leaders in training will tell us a different way to do the moves and understanding that everything we have learned is in there and there is always more and deeper levels, no matter where we are in the journey – as long as our heart is in the right place we are on the path. Even though I am getting older there is a joy of knowing that his teachings help my neuroplasticity and gives me resilience and an attitude to embrace change.
  • Even though Taoist Tai Chi® arts lifts my spirits, for me it is not my religious faith and I am grateful that FLK accepts participants at all levels and is willing to allow us all to learn and take into our hearts as much as we are willing and able to do. I know that this is a journey with no destination and am extremely thankful that it is being made available to me.

Relaxing the Heart

Due to recent health hurdles I cannot stress enough how Taoist Tai Chi® practice has helped and enriched my wellbeing and life.

Zoom discussions with members of the international board and leaders in training have been illuminating through these difficult times, for our branches and participants, and with their guidance we have committed to see ourselves through. They have encouraged us all to cultivate our minds and strengthen our bodies. They have discussed things we have heard before in sessions – ‘how does that feel’, ‘relax’ – and you know what, doing that at home without any performance anxiety, you can feel this and go deeper with the many intrinsic parts of just one move. As such, I have continued my physical and mental journey by relaxing my heart.

Every day is a new day and a chance for exploration of self, and through our Taoist Tai Chi® practice at home we can all do this. The benefits of joining Zoom sessions will enrich all aspects of your journey.

Opening the Heart

Before the pandemic, I had practiced Taoist Tai Chi® arts for many years, but I can see clearly now that I was only surfing on it, staying on the surface of the learning and the transformation because I was afraid to go deep into my heart. The fear to dig in the pain that I had accumulated during all my childhood and my youth had made me very rigid. While reflecting on my journey and writing it down, I discovered that the desire to stay connected with our organisation was the essential thing that made me progress. This community is healing me.

I was 30 years old when I began Taoist Tai Chi® practice. Right at the beginning I felt that I had found a new family. I loved participating in retreats, but every time that a little window opened in me, and I could take a look at the deepness of Master Moy’s teachings, I was also seeing my deep suffering and it was making me afraid. My unconscious reaction was to immediately shut the window or the door… until the next time.

At the beginning of the pandemic, my husband was diagnosed with the recurrence of a cancer. We were very sad and in panic. I immediately took the decision to listen to my small inner voice that was telling me: be more engaged with the Fung Loy Kok, it’s there that you need to be. I needed support; I needed the community. As the leader of Quebec City Branch, I was invited to join the Eastern Region Board meeting every week. Another leader was reassuring me that anytime I would need to take a rest or to take more time in order to take care of me or my husband, I would be free to take some time off. But I realised that I didn’t need time off, because I discovered that helping the organisation was helping me.

This training is the source of the transformation I’m feeling. It helps me to keep a clear direction in my life to navigate through the difficulties, obstacles, and suffering.

In addition, I followed the instructions of our senior leaders eighteen months ago; I undertook an everyday routine of Taoist Tai Chi® practice in which the local, regional, and international meetings every week was included. My daily practice of foundations, regular chanting and chanting ceremonies (Lunar and Festivals) have led me to a new world. I discovered a brand-new inner force as well as a source of energy and a great stillness. All this helped me let go of everything difficult: the fear, the sadness, the anger, the pain and so on. In fact, I was really surprised to discover a great joy. The joy of living, of helping, of listening, of learning, of moving without a constant burden.

This joy and lightness were accompanied with a new clarity of mind; my brain has started to function more efficiently and more intuitively. The solutions to my everyday or professional difficulties were coming by themselves more easily. It is like I was reaching to an unconscious universe from where I could draw the solutions to my problems. Now that I am able to put my heart in what I do as well as in my training, the healing effect is multiplied a hundred times.

I wish to thank Master Moy and the FLK leaders from the bottom of my heart for their help and wisdom.

Letting Go of Anxiety

I’m coming to understand the role anxiety plays in my life. When I was pretty new to the organization, I’d sometimes go to a session after a particularly bad day at work. Like as not, the practice would feel clumsy. But by the end of the session, I’d notice that I was much less anxious. The tension must have been leaching out of me as the session was going on, but without me noticing as it was happening.

In the early days, my Leader in Training talked to us about Master Moy’s teachings, but despite her efforts I had very little concept of them. I see now that my understanding was limited in some obvious ways. Sure, the session is great for stress relief, but I didn’t really think about applying the principles outside of that. And I was forever assessing how well I was doing the practice.

The next stage was seeing how my anxiety dropped when I went to retreats. But that too was a story of substantial anxiety followed by big relief. And I was doubly concerned with how well I was doing the practice.

Now I recognize that anxiety has frequently been present- albeit to a smaller degree. And that it isolates me from other people. Even when the level of anxiety is modest, that lack of connection has a substantial impact on me and on the people around me.

Sometimes I bring anxiety on myself, and by acting differently in these situations I can reduce it little by little. Recently I needed to set up a discussion with a few people. It wasn’t supposed to happen for several days, so there wasn’t a pressing need to draw up a list of topics and send an invitation. In the past, I probably would have put it off- for any number of reasons- and would have figured, in the absence of obvious consequences, that waiting didn’t cost anything.

On this occasion, I gave myself a nudge to go ahead and send the topics and the invitation as a courtesy to the others. Right away, I noticed a feeling of relaxation. This tells me that in the past, when I had time to do a task but put it off, there has been an “anxiety cost”.

How is it that I’m only learning this now after so many years in the organization? During the pandemic there’s less clamor, so it’s easier to notice subtle things. And when people have talked about anxiety in the Saturday morning zoom sessions, that’s been very helpful- making me realize that just about everyone deals with anxiety; helping me understand that I need to work on it steadily and thereby reduce anxiety little by little, rather than expecting to conquer anxiety once and for all. For weeks I was thinking maybe the experience I cited with the meeting agenda was too trivial to share. But the Saturday morning discussions have also given me the sense that this is how it works: find a way to be 1% better, day after day.

Changing Perspectives

Keď sa pozriem späť na posledný rok a pol, veľmi výrazne dokážem rozlíšiť tri oblasti alebo veci, ktoré som začal oveľa viac, intenzívnejšie vnímať:

    1. Na začiatku pandémie, keď sme ostali doma, som nemal žiadne obavy z toho, čo bude. Keď som si to uvedomil, prekvapilo ma to. Po hlbšom zamyslení sa nad tým som si uvedomil, že na obavy nie je dôvod. Rodina bola v poriadku, svoju prácu som dokázal robiť aj z domu a uvedomoval som si, že môj tréning taoistických umení nie je viazaný na miesto a čas, v ktorom bežne chodím na skupiny. Trénovať môžem kedykoľvek a kdekoľvek. Práve toto poznanie mi dodávalo pocit pokoja a istoty, že mám poklad, z ktorého môžem čerpať a žiadna pandémia ma nemôže obmedziť. Myslím, že práve táto analýza mi umožnila uvedomiť si vplyv dovtedajšieho tréningu na moju reakciu na pandémiu. Jednoducho som reagoval tak, ako keď na workshope dostávame inštrukcie, ktoré sa snažíme aplikovať, ale nie sme na ne fixovaní. Prijímame ich, pracujeme s nimi, ale zostávame flexibilní. A keď inštrukcii porozumieme, necháme ju ísť. Takto som asi podvedome pristupoval aj k zmenenej situácii – o.k., došlo k zmene, prijmi ju, prispôsob sa a choď ďalej. Fascinujúce je, že som to nepotreboval vedome analyzovať, jednoducho sa to udialo. Ak nemáte obavy, vaše okolie to vycíti a tiež nebude mať obavy.

    2. Veľmi skoro po začatí sobotňajších stretnutí s lídrami FLKTTC som začal vnímať silný pocit jednoty a silu našej komunity. Dovtedajšie fyzické stretávanie s členmi a lídrami FLKTTC na workshopoch, v centrách a na mítingoch boli síce osobné, ale menej časté. Možno práve preto človek nevnímal ten kontakt, hoci osobný, tak intenzívne. Ale teraz, keď sme sa nemohli fyzicky stretávať, ale začali sme sa stretávať pravidelne v online priestore, som začal vnímať všetku tú obrovskú snahu a energiu, ktorá bola vložená do toho, aby náš tréning zmysluplne pokračoval. A to ma zároveň naplnilo ešte väčšou dôverou v združenie a jeho lídrov. Mám pocit, akoby sme predtým boli síce blízko, ale trochu oddelení a teraz sme síce navzájom ďaleko, ale viac spojení. Napadla mi taká paralela s časticami pevnej látky: ak sa častice dostanú k sebe navzájom príliš blízko, prevládajú odpudivé sily medzi nimi a keď sa príliš vzdialia, prevládajú medzi nimi príťažlivé sily. Tieto silové interakcie umožňujú látke existovať v pevnom skupenstve.

    3. Pravidelný kontakt s chantingom počas sobotňajších stretnutí mi umožnil zväčšiť hĺbku vlastného tréningu. Už to nie je len teória alebo niečo výnimočné, s čím sa stretneme iba niekoľkokrát do roka na workshopoch. Stáva sa súčasťou tréningu ako 108 pohybov. Je to ako pridať ďalší kamienok do veľkej mozaiky, čím sa celkový obraz s názvom „Umenia taoistického Tai Chi“ stáva zreteľnejším a nadobúda novú kvalitu a hodnotu.

Looking back on the last year and a half, I can very clearly distinguish three areas or things that I have begun to perceive much more, more intensively:

  1. At the beginning of the pandemic, when we stayed at home, I had no worries about what would happen. When I realized that, I stayed surprised. After thinking more deeply about it, I realized that there was no reason to worry. The family was fine, I was able to do my job from home, and I realized that my Taoist Tai Chi® practice was not tied to the place and time I normally go to teach sessions. I can train anytime and anywhere. It was this knowledge that gave me a sense of peace and security; the knowledge that I have a treasure from which to draw, and no pandemic can limit me.
    I think it was this analysis that allowed me to realize the impact of the training so far on my response to the pandemic. I simply reacted as if we were given instructions at a retreat, which we try to apply, but we are not fixed on them. We accept them, we work with them, but we remain flexible. And when we understand the instruction, we let it go. This is probably how I subconsciously approached the changed situation. It was like “O.k., there’s a change, so accept it, adapt to it and move on”. The fascinating thing is that I didn’t need to consciously analyze it, it just happened. If one’s not worried, her/his surroundings will feel it and will not be worried either.

  2. Very soon after Saturday’s meetings with the FLK leaders started I began to perceive a strong sense of unity and strength in our community. Before the pandemic situation, physical meetings with FLK members and leaders at workshops, centers, and meetings were personal but less frequent. Maybe that was why one didn’t perceive the contact, albeit personal, so intensively. But now when we couldn’t meet physically but started meeting regularly in the online space, I began to perceive all the tremendous effort and energy that was put into making our training continue meaningfully. And this filled me with even more confidence in the organization and its leaders.
    I feel as if we used to be close, but a bit separated, and now we are far apart, but more connected. As a parallel, an image of the particles the solid matter consists of emerged in my mind: if the particles get too close to each other, repulsive forces prevail between them, and when they move too far away, attractive forces prevail between them. These force interactions allow the substance to exist in a solid-state.  

  3. Regular contact with chanting during Saturday’s meetings allowed me to increase the depth of my training. It is no longer just a “theory” or something exceptional, which we met during retreats only a few times per year. It becomes part of the training like 108 moves. It’s like adding more stones to a large mosaic, making the whole picture called “The Art of Taoist Tai Chi® practice” clearer, giving it a new quality and value.

Balancing Work in Progress

I was caught in the turbulence of anger, anxiety and fear about something I could do nothing about. At one point I acted rudely. Then I experienced the effect on my body, feeling unwell and very tired. I was ashamed of my actions. I didn’t think I was susceptible to such strong emotions.

Taoist Tai Chi® practice, including chanting, helped me and my body return to calm. I reflected on the virtues, especially sense of shame as it connects to filial piety. Would I have acted thus if my parents or Master Moy had been present? The practice and discipline of meditation is also becoming more important. I thought of the reminder, ‘don’t go there’, using it over and over again but in a soft way, gently letting go. This is a hopeful and balancing work in progress.

Connected to the Source

Today at the All Souls Festival chanting on Zoom I was overwhelmed by emotion.

During the Three Seasons Scripture, Repentance and Lighting Ceremony sutra, I thought of how grateful I was that Master Moy Lin Shin had brought these teachings and formed this organization to help us. Every time I thought of him my voice would break and tears came streaming down. I felt connected to our source and ever so grateful that he was always there.

I am going through a stressful and chaotic time of change. The release while seeking reconciliation was what I needed. I was so happy to take part in the Festival For All Souls online as in previous years I gained so much by attending in Calgary. The leader’s beautiful voice taped for the online chanting was a comfort to follow along with in the chanting. I know I will always have a family in Taoist Tai Chi® arts wherever I go.

Letting Go of Anger and Grief

Die Taoist Tai Chi® Künste zu üben, hat mich zu meinem innersten Inneren gebracht. Ich habe während vieler Jahre viel Trauer mit mir herumgetragen. Das tägliche Üben während der letzten zwei Jahre hat es mir möglich gemacht, meine Trauer und meine Wut über den Verlust meiner Tochter, die ich bei einem Unfall mit einem Auto verloren habe, loszulassen.

Auch das Chanting an den Samstagen und die Gespräche helfen mir. Obwohl ich in Englisch nicht viel verstehe, verstehe ich viel mit meinem Herzen. Ich habe viele Verletzungen und körperliche Schwierigkeiten davon getragen vom Unfall. Diese werden durch das Üben der Taoist Tai Chi® Künste immer weniger. Dafür bin ich sehr dankbar.

Darum bleibt mir nur noch herzlichen Dank für Alles zu sagen!

Practicing the Taoist Tai Chi® arts has brought me to the innermost part of myself. I was carrying a lot of grief with me for many years. The daily practice during the past two years has allowed me to let go of the anger and grief I felt about the loss of my daughter through an accident with a car.

Also the chanting on Saturdays and the talks help me. Although I do not understand a lot of English, I understand a lot with my heart. I have many injuries and physical difficulties from the accident. They are getting fewer and fewer through the practice of the Taoist Tai Chi® arts. I am very grateful for this.

So all I can say is a heartfelt thank you for everything!

Resting in Openness

Over the last year, it has become part of my thinking to look at myself in a calmer manner, with more distance from my emotions. The mutual respect I saw and felt during the Saturday sessions helped me a lot in many ways. I started to open up, practicing and building self confidence and trust. I see that I have changed, and it is great pleasure not wishing it, but to feel it in myself.

Now that the reopening has started, I recognized how much I tire myself out during the sessions. When I am leading, I can get annoyed when someone does not pay attention. I also did too much thinking after the session of what I could have done better. On the other hand, by being a participant at a session I tired myself out by watching, evaluating other people and myself. In the first month of the reopening, I caught myself looking for achievements. I was sad as I felt losing the calmness, self-confidence and softness of my practice during the lockdown.

So, I reflected on how I did things and how I felt. I made a decision to aim on not to tire myself out. As LITs we got clear instructions during the Saturday talks on how to lead a session. I take part in a group where we tell the stories of the Saturday sessions in Hungarian. There the task is so clear to pass on the talks. So, I decided to try this attitude when leading a session.

I reflected on what helped me to progress during the last two years. Firstly, I identified the trust in the organization and in his teachings. Secondly a feeling of an individual journey arose in me, a feeling of hope, lightness and freedom opened up. These feelings came from my experiences during many events where changes happened, like All Souls festival, listening to Saturday talks or working with other LITs in group.

I tried to prepare Saturday topics for the session and then I told the story as it was without hesitation. I also tried to think of the participants’ 10-year long term Taoist Tai Chi® journey and how I can help it. When I could practice these, I saw that my tasks became straight forward and few. There was more freedom, less control and worry. The session becomes restful this way.

As part of this slow shift in my LIT practice, my personal practice became more natural and deeper. I use curiosity to try what I saw during the session or to test the instructions myself. Somehow details get less important. My focus is not to tire myself out with thinking and trying, but to stay open. I started to enjoy the opening in my palms. Other times when my movements are stiff, I can reach back more easily to the trust of the FLK community.

I still have a hard time applying this lighthearted approach of resting during the sessions when being a participant, though I am searching for it. Maybe I could look for a restful feeling for the group, not for myself. I keep searching, and I am grateful for the advice to write reflections.

Listening and Letting Go

The chanting sessions and discussion have been so helpful during this pandemic time. By hearing the importance of self practice every week, I too was able to make it a habit. I practiced regularly before but the practice then had a quality of “doing out of duty”. Now I allow myself to be more playful with it. I try to listen to what I am in the mood for practicing and do that.

Sometimes it is all the movements, sometimes just a few or the foundations. I practice multiple times a day. Sometimes for shorter, and sometimes longer periods. I also pay more attention to the feeling. It is not yet automatic, I often have to remind myself to let go but when I notice that I have been tense, it is easier to change and be more relaxed.

I very much appreciate the regular opportunities to practice chanting. I feel myself more connected with others through chanting and enjoy not having to think and just doing it. Chanting helps physically and emotionally as well. The common focus of helping others during this time makes me feel that I can also contribute in some way. The texts are getting more and more familiar with practice and it is easier to follow along. I also enjoy learning about the culture behind the chanting and the ceremonies and how it connects to other parts of the training.

With the many meetings between the countries and the leadership my understanding and trust have grown towards the organization. I feel more connected to others and it is easier to work together. In the administration and also in my daily work I feel I am more engaged and more focused. I still have to let go of the worry and expectations more but by hearing the experiences of others and by being consistent with my practice I hope that this will come eventually. I am really grateful for this period and the opportunities that the directors have given us to grow. It is not always easy but I can feel the changes and will hopefully feel even more.


Trust has become the key word for me over the past year. When the pandemic started I joined the Zoom sessions on Saturdays. I only understood few sentences, but they were very clean, simple and powerful. Don´t worry. Let it go. Trust the directions. I was there almost every weekend, listened to these sentences and I enjoyed the chanting and seeing familiar faces. I couldn’t only see this community but I could feel it. I felt more and more that the Board trusts the people, the teachings, so the trust grew in my heart too.

As a result of this the trust helps me in my everyday life. Decisions are faster and easier. It is easier to let things go, and to do what I can. I have left my job and I homeschool my child to teach her to read, write and count. But not only did she learn and practise, so did I. I practised patience and consistency. After a while I was less worried, and I understood better the discussions on Saturdays.

Nowadays when I am practicing, I also trust in my body better, so I can find feelings like naturalness, calming down. So I think if we find a positive and strong feeling in our hearts it will lead us to find other good feelings in our hearts and in our life.


Internal Softness

Han sido muchas las cosas vividas en esta pandemia. Intentaré nombrar algunas.

Personalmente, el tai chi, reuniones, cantos junto a las traducciones de los sábados y personas que habéis estado de alguna manera, puedo decir que sabía el día en que vivía porque estabais.


Lo mejor ha sido, la comprensión, solo el uno por hoy.

Si no prácticas, tranquila. Empieza de nuevo.

Y he pasado por todo ello.

Dejar ir, no solo los brazos. O el cambio de peso, o al bajar con el don-yu. También implica soltar complejos, culpas, frustraciones, enfados, rencores. Soltar rigideces.


Dejarme sentir, sin intervenir, sin juzgar, simple.

He ganado, en suavidad, más internamente que quizá en el exterior.

Aceptar los cambios por los que debido al clima, la salud, edad, circunstancias, etc. Vivirlos con la máxima tranquilidad y paz posible, sin reproches ni exigencias, a los que soy muy dada.

Es muy grato, y enriquecedor en conjunto la experiencia que estamos viviendo.

No cabe duda, que mi manera de ver la vida, se ha ampliado mucho.

Vengo de una religión fuerte e intensa, la católica.

En ella, desde que era niña, describían el cielo, y a Dios, como algo infinito, que por mucho trabajo, nunca llegaremos al final.

Bueno, el tai chi, me ha enseñado, que esto es así. Ya que desde la primera clase hace 17 años a lo que ahora sé….

Y lo que me queda por experimentar, me da la respuesta a ese infinito que aprendí siendo muy niña. Estoy muy agradecida de pertenecer a esta asociacion.

Y en la espera de nuevos reencuentros todos juntos. Seguiré reencontrándome como hasta ahora.

There have been many things lived in this pandemic. I will try to name a few.

Personally, because of Taoist Tai Chi® practice, meetings, chanting, along with the Saturday discussions and people who have been there in some way, I can say that I knew the day I was living because you were there.


The best thing has been understanding just the one for today.

If you don’t practice, don’t worry. Start again.

And I’ve been through it all.

Letting go, not just the arms, or the weight change, or going down with the don-yu. It also involves letting go of complexes, guilt, frustrations, anger, resentment. Letting go of rigidities.


Letting myself feel, without intervening, without judging, simple.

I have gained in softness, more internally than perhaps externally.

Accept the changes due to the weather, health, age, circumstances, etc. To live them with the maximum tranquility and peace possible, without reproaches or demands, to which I am very inclined.

The experience we are living is very pleasant and enriching as a whole.

There is no doubt that my way of seeing life has expanded a lot.

I come from a strong and intense religion, the Catholic religion.

In it, since I was a child, Heaven and God were described as something infinite, that no matter how hard we work, we will never reach the end.

Well, Taoist Tai Chi® arts has taught me that this is so. Since the first session 17 years ago to what I know now.

And what I have left to experience gives me the answer to that infinity that I learned as a child.

I am very grateful to belong to this organization. And while I am waiting for new reunions all together, I will continue to meet again as I have done so far.

Going Deeper

Este año y medio de pandemia, a pesar de lo duro que ha sido y sigue siendo, ha sido bueno para mi taichi. Hasta este año mi práctica se reducía a las clases, las que daba y tomaba. Sin embargo, durante todo este tiempo he practicado sola y, aunque las clases me encantan, la práctica en solitario me ha sido muy enriquecedora; estoy aprendiendo a ser más observadora, al mismo tiempo que me está permitiendo profundizar en los movimientos y llevar mi ritmo.

A través de todos estos años, la práctica del taichi me ha sido súper beneficiosa y soy consciente de la mejoría física que he tenido, porque no he necesitado medicación para el dolor.

También, este año he tenido la oportunidad, gracias a los cantos de los sábados, de familiarizarme con ellos al poder practicarlos casi cada semana. Los cantos me han enseñado a dejarme llevar, a que no me importe tanto el cómo sale, simplemente disfrutar y eso después me ha servido para aplicarlo al taichi.

Las charlas semanales con los líderes, tanto de mi rama como las de las otras ramas, han hecho que sienta la conexión que tenemos entre todos y a aprender de ellos y con ellos.

Algo que voy trabajando día a día es en ser mejor persona y que lo importante es el ahora.

Doy gracias a la Asociación por hacerme sentir respaldada en todo momento y aunque me gustaría retomar las clases, sólo me ocupo en practicar y mejorar mi taichi. Sé que eso será beneficioso en las futuras clases.

This year and a half of pandemic, as hard as it has been and continues to be, has been good for my Taoist Tai Chi® practice. Until this year, my practice was reduced to sessions, which I led and took. However, during all this time I have been practicing alone and, although I love the sessions, the solo practice has been very enriching. I am learning to be more observant, at the same time it is allowing me to go deeper into the movements and find my rhythm.

Through all these years, my practice has been super beneficial to me and I am aware of the physical improvement I have had, because I have not needed pain medication.

Also, this year I have had the opportunity, thanks to the Saturday chanting, to familiarize myself with them by being able to practice them almost every week. The chanting has taught me to let go, to not care so much about how it comes out, and just enjoy it, and that has helped me to apply it to the movements of Taoist Tai Chi® practice.

The weekly talks with the leaders, both from my branch and the other branches, have made me feel the connection that we all have with each other and learn from them and with them.

Something that I am working on day by day is to be a better person and that the important thing is now.

I thank the Association for making me feel supported at all times and although I would like to resume sessions, I only focus on practicing and improving. I know that will be beneficial in future sessions.

Regularity and Balance

Reflexionar sobre los beneficios obtenidos durante este tiempo de práctica individual ha sido duro. Después de pensarlo durante algún tiempo, he llegado a la conclusión, de que algunos de ellos aún son tan sutiles que, a día de hoy no puedo expresarlos por escrito.

Por tanto me centraré en los que soy verdaderamente consciente que así son.

El equilibrio mental y psicológico que me aporta la regularidad de las sesiones de cantos de los sábados, la de los lunes y de todas las otras actividades de la asociación en las que estoy presente. Me ayudan a no abandonarme y a mantenerme conectado con la gente pues desde que dejé de impartir clases, asistir a los retiros y me jubilé mi relación social se ha circunscrito a mi entorno familiar y poca cosa más. 

Los cantos, cada vez más me siento conectado con ellos y estoy aprendiendo el deja ir y a ganar en resiliencia. Me ayudan a no dispersarme y a aprender de las diferentes versiones. No me preocupo si me equivoco. Estoy más atento y en la siguiente línea lo vuelvo a intentar. 

Conocer mejor a mis compañeros. Las reuniones semanales de la rama, y a nivel nacional, me ha permitido conocer las reflexiones y el pensamiento de mis compañeros de la asociación. Conozco a muchos de ellos desde hace años, pero no ha sido hasta hora, en que hemos sido más capaces de compartir nuestras experiencias y pensamientos como nunca, tanto en lo relativo a nuestro día a día con el covid, como con nuestra evolución respecto a la práctica individual, las enseñanzas de los líderes internacionales y la evolución de la organización.

Constatar que cuanto más practico taichí mejor me siento físicamente y como esta fortaleza me afecta psicológicamente y me permite afrontar mejor el día a día. Lo mismo al revés, cuanto menos practico peor me siento y lo que es fácil se convierte en una dificultad. Tener las artes del taichí taoísta en mi vida es una gran cosa si las pongo en práctica y las hago mías. A pesar de la barrera del idioma, el mismo efecto ocurre con la organización, si me implico en ella me doy cuenta de la fortaleza que tiene y como esta me hace sentir que no estoy sólo y que oír compartir a otras personas su experiencia me ayuda muchísimo a comprender mi situación actual y la de los demás.

Reflecting on the benefits obtained during this time of individual practice has been hard. After thinking about it for some time, I have come to the conclusion that some of them are still so subtle that I cannot express them in writing today. Therefore I will focus on those that I am truly aware that they are so.

The mental and psychological balance that brings me the regularity of the chanting sessions on Saturdays, Mondays and all the other activities of the association in which I am present help me not to abandon myself and to stay connected with people because since I stopped teaching classes, attending retreats and retired, my social relations have been limited to my family environment and little else.

I feel more and more connected to the chanting and I am learning to let go and gain resilience. They help me not to disperse and to learn from the different versions. I don’t worry if I make a mistake. I am more attentive and I try again on the next line.

Getting to know my colleagues better at the weekly branch meetings, and at the national level, has allowed me to get to know the reflections and thinking of my fellow members of the association. I have known many of them for years, but it has not been until now that we have been able to share our experiences and thoughts as never before, both in terms of our day to day life with COVID, as well as our evolution with respect to individual practice, the teachings of international leaders and the evolution of the organization.

I notice that the more I practice Taoist Tai Chi® arts, the better I feel physically and how this strength affects me psychologically and allows me to better cope with the day to day. The same thing the other way around, the less I practice the worse I feel and what is easy becomes a difficulty. Having his teachings in my life is a great thing if I put them into practice and make them my own. Despite the language barrier, the same effect happens with the organization. If I get involved in it, I realize how strong it is and how it makes me feel that I am not alone and that hearing other people share their experience helps me a lot to understand my current situation and that of others.

Finding Meaning in All Souls Festival

In 2021, my participation in All Souls Festival took on a new meaning. My mother passed away at the end of 2020 and I ordered a temporary commemorative plaque in her memory.  It was no longer merely an exercise, but something spiritual.

For many of the years that I have practiced Taoist Tai Chi, I wasn’t very interested in this Festival. Since I did not have any religious beliefs, I didn’t see the sense of participating in it or ordering a temporary commemorative plaque. I was present in Orangeville twice during the time of the Festival, but other than folding paper money, I did not participate.

Along came the pandemic.  We were given the chance to participate virtually and it was announced that we would be chanting for 4 hours. For me, it was a challenge to see if I could chant for 4 hours. I didn’t realize there would be breaks. But it was still a challenge that I managed to complete.

In 2021, my participation took on a new meaning. My mother passed away at the end of 2020 and I ordered a temporary commemorative plaque in her memory.  Thus the All Souls Festival had taken on a new meaning for me. It was no longer merely an exercise, but something spiritual.

Since that time, I have continued to reflect, especially that with the All Souls Festival, we seek to help the souls of the deceased find peace. This led me to think of my daughter’s ex-husband who passed away in 2019. He was a very troubled person who was full of anger. After my daughter divorced him, he continued to harass her by sending threatening texts, etc. He had cancer and knew he was dying. Nevertheless, he was not able to let go of his anger and bitterness. So I concluded that if ever there was a troubled soul who needed to find peace, it is his. I have ordered a temporary commemorative plaque in his honour for the 2022 All Souls Festival. By following this path, I have come to let go of my negative feelings towards him.

En 2021, ma participation au Festival de toutes les âmes a pris une nouvelle signification. Ma mère est décédée en fin de 2020 et j’ai demandé une plaque commémorative temporaire pour elle. Alors, ce n’était plus seulement un exercice, mais quelque chose de spirituel.

Au cours de mes nombreuses années de pratique du Tai Chi taoïste, je n’avais pas développé d’intérêt pour ce festival. N’ayant pas de croyances religieuses, je ne voyais pas de sens pour moi de participer au festival ou de demander une plaque commémorative temporaire.  J’ai été présente à Orangeville à  deux occasions pendant le festival mais, à part de plier de l’argent en papier, je n’ai pas participé.

Avec l’arrivée de la pandémie, on nous offre la chance de participer virtuellement et on nous annonce alors qu’on ferait du chanting pendant 4 heures.  C’était surtout pour moi un défi de pouvoir en faire pendant 4 heures.  Je ne réalisais pas qu’il y avait des pauses mais, malgré tout, ça demeurait un défi pour moi et j’ai réussi à le réaliser.

En 2021, ma participation au festival a pris une nouvelle signification. Ma mère est décédée en fin de 2020 et j’ai demandé une plaque commémorative temporaire pour elle. Alors le Festival de toutes les âmes a changé de signification pour moi : ce n’était plus seulement un exercice, mais quelque chose de spirituel.

Depuis ce temps, j’ai continué à réfléchir, surtout qu’avec le Festival de toutes les âmes on cherche à aider les défunts à se trouver en paix. Cela m’a fait penser à l’ex-mari de ma fille qui est décédé en 2019. C’était une personne très troublée et pleine de colère. Quand ma fille en avait divorcé, il avait continué à la harceler en envoyant des textos, etc.  Il avait un cancer et savait qu’il allait mourir.  Malgré ça, il n’a pas pu lâcher prise de sa colère et de sa rancœur.  Alors, j’en ai conclu que si jamais il y avait une âme troublée qui avait besoin de trouver la paix, c’était bien la sienne. J’ai demandé une plaque commémorative temporaire en son honneur pour le Festival de toutes les âmes 2022.  Avec ce cheminement, j’arrive à lâcher prise sur mes sentiments négatifs envers lui.