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Internal Strength

This past year I embraced self practice in a way I never have before. Daily self practice has always been one of my challenges, so I knew that I had to focus on something different. Thus, I committed to chanting daily.

After about a month, chanting, Don Yu’s and Tor Yus became a part of my daily routine. I have noticed physical changes over the years from chanting. There was a time I couldn't physically make it through a long chant, sitting on a chair listening through most of it. Eventually I was able to kneel through a whole 45 minute chant.

The changes I feel now though are different. There is a strength inside of me that I haven't noticed before. I am better able to cope with life and all it's challenges. I am a worrier and am easily overwhelmed. Lately I have noticed a change at how I react to situations. I don’t feel as overwhelmed and I feel like I can handle the changes that I am facing with work and my family better than before. I recognize the worry and find it easier to let it go.

My approach to work is different. My approach to my physical practice is different. I am entering a new chapter in my mother’s life and have always worried that I couldn't handle it. This past weekend I found myself facing a situation that in the past I might have avoided. I found myself dealing with it differently, with my mother, with the facility and with my siblings. That is when I realized how much stronger I was.

As I face the changes in her I am realizing that I have the strength and the skills needed to help her. The teachings, the practice, the opportunities to help and listen have been invaluable. The process of putting pen to paper has been invaluable. Thank you.

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